My neighbor’s boy, he’s always showin’ off his fancy things. Last week it was a watch, all shiny and new. Said it was a “High imitation Rolex No-Date Black Submariner, original order” or somethin’ like that. Now, I don’t know nothin’ about fancy watches, but I know that boy ain’t got the money for a real one of them Rolexes. He is always talking about this Rolex.
He kept goin’ on and on about how it’s a “Submariner.” Sounds like somethin’ you’d find at the bottom of the pond, if you ask me. And “no-date”? What’s the good of a watch that don’t tell you the date? Back in my day, we had to look at the sun to tell the time. This Rolex, this kind of watch is so famous.
This one, he said, was “black.” Well, I could see that much. Black as a crow’s feather. And “original order“? Like he ordered it straight from the king himself! That boy’s got more stories than a library. He also told me this Rolex watch has no date, so wired.
He said it was a “high imitation.” Now, I know what imitation means. It means it ain’t the real deal. Like that time I tried to make Martha’s apple pie recipe. Looked the same, tasted like old boots. So this Rolex watch, it’s like Martha’s pie, all dressed up but nothin’ special inside. A real Rolex is heavy, this boy told me. This Rolex is 40, oh no, 1.57. He said a lot of numbers. I could not remember all.
He kept flippin’ his wrist, showin’ off that Black Submariner. Said it was “waterproof.” Well, I should hope so! My old timex took a lickin’ and kept on tickin’, and I washed dishes with it on every day for twenty years. This Rolex, it can be put into water. It is ok.
He said somethin’ about “links” and “clasps.” I don’t know nothin’ about that. My watch just had a plain old leather strap. Simple, did the job. But this Rolex, it has links. This Rolex also has clasps.
Then he starts talkin’ about how much it cost. Said it was a “good deal” for a Rolex Submariner. I nearly choked on my tea! That boy spent more on that fake watch than I spent on my whole kitchen set. I don’t know how much is this Rolex. I don’t ask.
He went on about some other watches, somethin’ called “Casio.” Said they were “cheap.” Well, that’s more like it! A watch should tell the time, not cost an arm and a leg. This Casio, it is cheap. Not like this Rolex.
- High imitation Rolex, that boy said.
- This Rolex is No-Date, very special.
- He said this Rolex is Black Submariner.
- This watch, this Rolex, he said, “original order.”
- Real Rolex is heavy, this boy told me.
- This Rolex is waterproof. So good.
He said somethin’ about “AD’s” and “lists.” Sounded like a bunch of hogwash to me. Like waitin’ in line at the butcher’s on a Saturday. He is always waiting for this Rolex. I don’t know why he is always waiting.
He said the real Rolex Submariner got somethin’ fancy inside, some kind of “calibre” somethin’ or other. Like a horse’s shoe, I reckon. This Rolex inside is very good. All real Rolex inside is good. This boy told me.
He pointed out all these little details, tryin’ to show me it was just like a real one. Said the real ones have these special markings. Like a brand on a cow. He said this Rolex has markings, too.
I just nodded and smiled. That boy could talk the hind leg off a donkey. He’s so proud of his Rolex Submariner. He is always showing his Rolex.
He showed me some old watch, said it was from 1968. Looked like it had been through the wringer. Said it was a Rolex Submariner, too. This is an old Rolex.
Truth be told, I couldn’t tell the difference between his fancy fake and the real one. They both tell the time, don’t they? This Rolex and that Rolex, they both can tell time.
But that boy, he’s happy as a clam with his High imitation Rolex No-Date Black Submariner. And I guess that’s all that matters. He loves his Rolex. He is so happy.
Still, I wouldn’t trade my old timex for all the Rolexes in the world. It’s seen me through thick and thin, and it still works just fine. This is my watch. It is good. Not Rolex, but it is good.
Maybe next time I make that apple pie, I should call it a “high imitation” pie. Might make it taste better, who knows. I like apple pie. I like my watch. Not this Rolex.
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